"Take a hike, son"

Regardless of everything else he accomplished in his playing and managerial career, I will always immediately associate him with those words he uttered to a young Jim Bouton.

A Win Summarized (Aaron Harang & Chad Qualls)

So far, the homecoming is going swimmingly for San Diego native and Aztec alumnus Aaron Harang. After yesterday's win over the hapless and harmless baby bears, Harangutan is 4-0. Now, I'll be the first to say that pitcher's wins is the most meaningless statistic in the history of statistics (Can I get an 'Amen!', Dustin Moseley?) but it looks good in print. All of his numbers that matter look good, too.
After Harang had his fill of domination for the day, Ernasty Frieri took over where he left off, striking out two in a scoreless seventh. Next out of the gate was another bounce-back candidate picked up by Jedi on the offseason, former Asstro and D-Bag Chad Qualls. He too struck out two in his inning of work; unfortunately, he also put up a few other twos- hits, runs and earned runs- as he attempted to single-handedly keep Harang 3-0. Once he worked his way out of the eighth with the lead, a hold and all of my fingernails, it was time for Heath "The Second 'H' Is Silent" Bell to do what he does- and we all know what he does. Padres win!

This Date In '88: Kruk Saves The Day

On this date twenty three years ago, the Giants were visiting the Murph. Eddie Lee Whitson went seven and gave up four hits, one of which was a first inning solo shot to right by Will Clark. The score remained 1-0 in favor of the Giants until the bottom of the seventh when Tempy tied it up by tripling in the late Chris Brown. Still tied at ones in the bottom of the ninth, Larry Bowa called on John Kruk to pinch hit for Carmelo Martinez. Kruk mashed the second pitch far beyond the wall in left center. Ballgame.

Fare Thee Well, Mitch Canham

Poor Mitch Canham. He switched organizations a couple weeks ago and nobody noticed. When I bought this card on St. Patrick's Day he was still on the San Antonio roster. When I was looking at Minor League rosters last night, he was nowhere to be found so I googled him. Turns out the Pads gave him his walking papers and he latched on with the Oakland org; he's a Midland RockHound now. I mentioned this on Twitter today and in a weird coincidence, about an hour later, MLBTradeRumors mentioned just that we'd released him. I guess some news is just meant to fall through the cracks.
Mitch has yet to live up to the promise he once showed. Originally a catcher, he has since branched out to play all four infield and outfield corners as well. If that doesn't work out for him he can always fall back on his mic skills.

Ladies & Gentleman, Your Tucson Padres

Yesterday I was lamenting that I don't have any cards of Everth Cabrera since it was jodes's birthday. Sadly, his season doesn't begin until tomorrow evening. Sadder even still is that it begins in Colorado Springs as a member of the brand-new Tucson Padres. They actually didn't get their uniforms until today. True story. The roster is full of other familiar names like Aaron "Sneaky Pig" Cunningham, Luis Durango, new prospect Anthony Rizzo and retread Greg Burke. I remember Burke wore number 40 when he was with San Diego in '09. It was coincidental that every time he pitched I felt the need to drink a 40. Not a big fan of the guy; I'm pretty sure he will never not make me nervous. Anyway, this group will be managed by former Friars backstop Terry Kennedy. He's pictured above on his '84 Donruss.

Xavier Nady & A Dave Roberts Cameo

This card was released right after X was traded to the Mets for Cammy II. I regard Padres nicknamed Cammy like I regard musicians named Hank Williams: I'm a huge fan of both the first and the third but when it comes to the second, naaaaaah. Anyway, back to Nady. He never really got a chance from Boch and since then injuries have kept him from living up to his promise although he was decently above average in his one full season; he put up a 127 OPS+ in 148 games between Pittsburgh and the Yankees in '08. He missed all but 7 games in '09 and basically sucked ass last year for the Cubs. Now he's in Arizona, another one of KT's stockpile of former Friars along with Geoff Blum, Sean Burroughs, Henry Blanco and Russell Branyan. Also pictured on this card is fan favorite and current club employee of some sort Dave Roberts. I don't think I have any cards of Doc as a Pad; I need to fix that. On a side note to a side note, I always liked that both Bip and Dave Roberts wore number 10. I'm gonna shut up now.

Finally, A Brad Ausmus Card

So, a couple of weeks ago, I asked on Twitter whose card I should profile next and threw a few names out there; Brad Ausmus was the consensus favorite. The ladies especially seem to love him. I never got around to posting this because I'm an asshole. Well, that's not entirely true; I mean, yes, I am an asshole but the actual reason it took this long is because I'm lazy, forgetful and easily distracted. All in all, I'm a pretty horrible person. But I digress. Ladies and gentlemen (but mostly ladies), with no further ado, I give you Bradley David (well, maybe a little more ado) Ausmus:

(note: This picture is from a couple of months ago. I didn't get a haircut and bring back the brown.)

Bring Back The Brown

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Bring
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The
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