Sunday, February 28, 2010

Shut Up, Peavy

So, lately noted womanizer Jake Peavy has been spouting off about wanting Adrian to come join him in Chicago which, eh, it's not really for him to say but I'll let it slide. He goes on to talk about the Padres as a lost cause cesspool franchise like we're the god-forsaken Pirates or something. This irks me because we were only crappy for a season and a half coming off of two seasons in which we were division champions and another where it took us a 163rd game to miss out on a playoff spot. Nevermind that we were one of the hottest teams in baseball the last few months of last season- a stretch where he and his divisive attitude were not around- nope, we suck, always sucked and always will suck. Pssssh.

But what really grinds my gears with Cy Young, Dumb and Full of Cum's remarks is his insistence that Adrian wants out of his home-effin-town. I don't know if this is true; I kinda doubt it and certainly hope it isn't- but even if it is, who the hell appointed Jackass Jake as Aid's personal press secretary?

Friday, February 26, 2010

Eddie Williams

I can't say I was ever much of an Eddie Williams fan, but the guy did go to high school in San Diego and served three separate stints with the Padres; that counts for something. That said, something else all Gaslamp Ballers can appreciate is that his final pro team was Korea's Hyundai Unicorns.

Thursday, February 25, 2010

Beat L.A., Not Women

Brian Giles is awesome. He is the greatest advocate for women's rights ever. Think about it- all these uppity broads keep talking about being treated like equals and then they get all teary-eyed when they can't take a punch. What the hell? Brian Giles has enough respect for women to fight them like a man. For that, I feel he deserves our admiration and applause.

[Where the hell is the 'satire' button on this editor? I suck at formatting.]

Wednesday, February 24, 2010


Our former left fielder/ new third baseman looooooves the Steelers. Sounds like an excuse to tell a story 'bout the biggest Steelers fan I know and love...

My then-roommate Michelle (name changed to protect the innocent) had just taken Chuck (name changed to protect "Michelle") upstairs to get her mudshark on. It's important for this story for you to know that she HATES Oasis. Jessica (fuck it; that's really her name) was hammered drunk and started blaring 'Wonderwall' on her 'pod downstairs. Michelle immediately appeared at the top of the stairs sans clothing, screaming "How the fuck am I supposed to get wet to that shit?!?"

Monday, February 15, 2010

Randomness: Friars On Twitter, Finley, Santiago, 7Seconds Tattoo & An Admission Of Idiocy

Man, to think that a year ago Brian Wilson and C.J. Wilson were pretty much the only baseball players with a Twitter. Shiz blew up, yo; now it seems like everyone with a pair of spikes has one. Fins does, as does Antonelli. In fact, Gaslamp Ball has all former, current and future Friars with one listed for your convenience (sweet tattoo as the background, huh?). Steve's got a Facebook page, too; needless to say, I'm a "fan"...

Speaking of Matty A, I really shat the bed with that last post about him. In my haste and stoneditude, I failed to recall that bench coach Ted Simmons rocks the number nine. My bad!

... so, I got a new tattoo last week. It's my spray-painted-style rendition of the 7Seconds logo on my left wrist. That picture looks like shid, but you get the idea. I was going to use that pic for a post on Benito Santiago but since it turned out so crummy, I'm just tacking it on to this one...

Also, as always. Friars On Cardboard welcomes any and all suggestions and submissions. Thanks to everybody for reading, commenting and/ or following. 'Preciate it!

Eight Years Ago (R.I.P. Mike Darr)

For the first time in FoC history, I'm doing a post without a card as I used the only Mike Darr card I have last February 15th. I'll do a normal post later today but I wanted to put this up in Mike's memory and to urge everyone to please NEVER, EVER drink and drive.

Friday, February 12, 2010

Can Matt Antonelli Please Have #9 Back?

Dear San Diego Padres,

I have noticed that you have Matt Antonelli listed on your official roster as #10. Mr. Antonelli debuted as #9 with the Friars and has stated that he would like to wear that number again once he settles in with the big club. In addition to him wearing it in his initial appearance in the navy and sand, Matt wore #9 throughout college and summer ball. Mr. Antonelli is a much too humble man to trouble you with this request. However, I'm fairly certain, as evidenced by the new regime's eagerness to listen to the fans, this should be no problem. After all, there is no one listed as #9 on the 40-man roster.

Thank you very much,

Wednesday, February 10, 2010

Happy Bip Roberts Day!

One year ago today, I posted a Bip Roberts card as a shout-out to my then-brother-in-law Corey who is, you guessed it, a big Bip fan. With February 10th being of absolutely no significance otherwise, I nonetheless declare today, and all February 10ths to follow, Bip Roberts Day. Hear hear!

Here is your annual Bip Roberts Day batch of Bip links:
Honestly, I'm surprised I came up with that many... I hope at least a few people write something new about him between now and next February 10th. Happy Bip Roberts Day, everybody! Celebrate Responsibly!

Friday, February 5, 2010

7 Random Facts About Garry Templeton

And The Winner Is... Garry Templeton!
In honor of the longtime Friar shortstop's victory by decision over Steve Finley in yesterday's poll, here are seven random facts about Ol' "Jumpsteady":
  1. He was the official team captain from '87 'til he departed two months into '91.
  2. #1 led the league in intentional walks in '84 and '85 with 23 and 24, respectively.
  3. Garry managed current Padre David Eckstein in the minors.
  4. After leading the league in triples with 19 in '79, he never broke double digits again.
  5. On January 13th, Templeton was named manager of the Chico Outlaws of the Golden Baseball League.
  6. Garry stole 27 bases in '82, his first year with the Padres- the highest total he would have with the team. In his last six seasons in San Diego, he stole exactly 27 bases.
  7. When Avenger-in-Chief was a kid, Templeton would let him hit in his backyard batting cage.
Why seven? Because I was going to do ten but I'm starting to get tired. Yep, it's that level of commitment that makes this blog the beacon of mediocrity that it is.

The cards pictured are '91 Donruss #252 and '90 Topps #481

Thursday, February 4, 2010

Who's Next?

I've had a pretty long day and I can't think of anything interesting to write about Carmelo Martinez, so in lieu of doing actual research, I'm just putting this '88 Donruss #287 up as something to look at while you contemplate the decision that lies before you.

You- yes, you!- have the future of FoC in your hands... the future of FoC being tomorrow's post. Take notice of the poll in the sidebar and carefully choose which player's card you would like to see featured next and, since it will probably end in a tie because so few people read this, explain your pick in the comments.

Wednesday, February 3, 2010

Remembering Phil Plantier

Different people think of different things when you mention Phil Plantier. Massholes remember him tearing up the American League in 53 games as a rookie in '91 and falling on his face the following season. San Diegans remember him letting loose with 34 home runs in '93 and falling on his face the following season.

I am neither of those but I remember that part of his career as well. After he left the Pads the second time (his initial exodus being, along with Broke, part of the 12-player deal that got us Finley and Cammy), I lost track of him. In fact, until I looked at his Baseball-Reference page, I was unaware that he was part of the exclusive Three-Times Padres Club (Trivia: Who were the others?). He last appeared in the majors at the age of 28, finishing the '97 season with the Cardinals after being jettisoned by the Friars again, this time in a 6-player deal that included Fernando.

Yeah, d
ifferent people think of different things when you mention Phil Plantier, be it any of the above, his sitting-on-an-invisible-chair batting stance or even the houseplant they named after him. But I'm willing to bet that the majority of baseball fans remember him somehow.

Monday, February 1, 2010

This Rant Has Nothing To Do With Broke's Rookie Card

I remember the incident when Frank Francisco threw a chair at some A's fans, but until a minute ago when I was googling around trying to find a jumping-off point to blather some more about Doug Brocail, I had no idea that Francisco was heated because some ass heckled Brocail about having a stillborn child. Wow, that was one long sentence. Horrible writing right there, kids. Stay in school. But I digress. Yeah, I know people should be the bigger person and let words go and that they're professional athletes and should have a thick skin and blah, blah and blah, but that's some pretty fucked up shit for anyone to say to anyone else. If somebody popped off with some shit like that to a friend or coworker of mine, I'd probably flip out harder than just throwing a chair. Not saying it was right, but it certainly was understandable.