This Isn't About Randy Jones

I was just reading SDPads1's awesome memorabilia blog .400 in '94; man, he's got so much RJ stuff! I guess it makes sense considering his other (*cough*more recently updated*cough*) blog is RJ's Fro. Gaslamp Baller ABY recently sent me a parcel of Padres gubbins as she called them. I'd never heard that word before but it has since became one of my favorite words. Man, I love words. I love words so much that my friends call me "Words". But I digress... Anyway, I'll be posting some of that in the near future- along with an accompanying card, of course. I hope he doesn't think I'm stepping on his turf! He's already done a post on one of the things...

Oh, and that jersey I'm wearing in that picture? Hoffy. That was all ABY. To quote Rivers (no, not that one!), "How cool is that?"

To Shave Or Not To Shave?

Well, May is over and I have a dilemma. On my chin is exactly one month of growth. I'm not sure whether to shave it off because a May beard is good for May and May only or whether I should do the Crash Davis thing and respect the streak. It's down to just the chinpiece because I shaved the sides after getting swept by the filthy effin' Dodgers because something obviously needed to change. When that got stale and we lost consecutive games to the Mariners and Nationals, it was the soulpatch's time to go. There was never any 'stache to bump off for the good of the team because I make a point to keep that zone free and clear on a daily basis. Not on my face, lipwarmer... But, at any rate, what do you guys (and gals but you know what I mean) think? There's a poll on the sidebar; feel free to express any additional thoughts on the matter in the comments.
Note: Poll closes at first pitch of tonight's game.

The FoC 100th Post Celebratory Review and Beardstravaganza

Wow, one hundred posts. I guess this is a milestone and should be approached in a completely over-the-top fashion thusly. I can honestly say that when I started this in January of Aught-Nine, I imagined that I'd have a hundred posts knocked out much, much sooner. Oh, well; it's finally picking up steam and I have no complaints about the journey. Before I get into links and statistics, let's take a moment to pay our respects to Beard Month with eight completely generic nineties-style 'stache/goat combos: The well trimmed goatee was pretty much a career-long mainstay for all of these guys except for Benes. He spent most of his time in San Diego naked-faced, adopting the look only toward the end of his Padres tenure when it was getting trendy. When it first started appearing on his face is when we should have known he was turning evil and would soon become a member of our hated northern rivals. These next four Pads were nowhere near as decisive; they are pictured in a state of limbo, exhibiting the lazy look favored by George Michael and sdsuaztec4 (nope, I'm still not anywhere near done with this post):

Although this is the one hundredth post, more than a hundred cards are depicted. Including the fourteen in this post, 138 to be exact. This is the part where I get my Wonko on and have some fun breaking down numbers that nobody else is even remotely interested in:

• 3 guest posts
• 16 Tony Gwynn posts, 33 cards (24%)
• 10 cards of Padres pictured with other teams (Abner, Furmaniak, Gaudin, Sut, Jerry Hairy x2, Cora x2, C. Gwynn & B. Giles) (7%)
• 7 non Padres sharing a card with a Padre (Edgar Martinez, A-Rod, Brett Butler & Will Clark w/ Tony, Matt Holliday w/ Adrian & J.R. House and Juan Castro with Ben Davis) (5%)
• Two Dodgers (Butler, C. Gwynn) are pictured, albeit with all references to filthy Dodgerdom obscured.
• 19 players pictured more than once, led by Tony's 33; Klesko & Adrian have 6 & 5 respectively; Broke, Joey, Abner & Briles have 3 apiece.
• This month has far and away been the most prolific, with 29 posts to date showcasing 45 cards, including 23 Tonys in 14 posts. Tied for second are February & April of this year with 12 each.
• Two back to back posts in February are tied for the most comments with 7.
• 63 posts are tied with zero comments.
• My friend Shane a.k.a. Shizzle a.k.a. Sheezy is mentioned, inferred to or referenced on 6 occasions.
• Aside from the two Abners Steve sent with his post, there has been 1 reader contribution.
• 4 logoless oddball cards are depicted
• 1 post doesn't have a card- it's the most important post of them all.
• Gaslamp Ball is mentioned, linked or alluded to more times than can be counted.
• Heath Bell has been mentioned the most times without being profiled

Well, I think that just about puts a bow on it. I'd like to use this part to thank everybody who has read, commented on, retweeted, linked, contributed to or had anything whatsoever to do with these first hundred posts. As always, feedback, submissions, suggestions and anything else you can come up with are more than welcome. Thanks once again.

The Klesko Facial Hair Chronicles, Volume 5: Chinblock & Soul Triangle

The last three face-farms were rather man-dude; this one is pretty dude-bro in comparison. Nevertheless, I like it from an aesthetic perspective; it stands out with about being distracting, detracting and/or ridiculous- most of his other looks were at least two if not all three of those...

The next and final(?) installment of this series, depicting a naked-faced Ryan, will be here on June 1st, the high holiday Saint Shavey O'Getthatshitoffyourface's Day which is celebrated by Gaslamp Ballers around the world- I think you know how we observe it. Until then, you won't be seeing any clean-shaven mugs adorning the front page of this humble blog.

"Mud, you're the best, man."

“Anybody on Earth that doesn’t like Mark Grant, they’ve got problems.”

Steve Garvey Is Not Heat Bell's Padre

I love Heat Bell so much. When Dex from Gaslamp Ball gave him a retired numbers shirt to pose with, he said "You oughta figure out a way to photoshop the 6 out", emphasizing his earlier point that "That guy's a Dodger." I've been saying that for years, Heater... Incidentally, I have no Heath Bell cards; this needs to change.

Randomness: Friars On Twitter, Finley, Santiago, 7Seconds Tattoo & An Admission Of Idiocy

Man, to think that a year ago Brian Wilson and C.J. Wilson were pretty much the only baseball players with a Twitter. Shiz blew up, yo; now it seems like everyone with a pair of spikes has one. Fins does, as does Antonelli. In fact, Gaslamp Ball has all former, current and future Friars with one listed for your convenience (sweet tattoo as the background, huh?). Steve's got a Facebook page, too; needless to say, I'm a "fan"...

Speaking of Matty A, I really shat the bed with that last post about him. In my haste and stoneditude, I failed to recall that bench coach Ted Simmons rocks the number nine. My bad!

... so, I got a new tattoo last week. It's my spray-painted-style rendition of the 7Seconds logo on my left wrist. That picture looks like shid, but you get the idea. I was going to use that pic for a post on Benito Santiago but since it turned out so crummy, I'm just tacking it on to this one...

Also, as always. Friars On Cardboard welcomes any and all suggestions and submissions. Thanks to everybody for reading, commenting and/ or following. 'Preciate it!

This Has Nothing To Do With Edgar Gonzalez; It's All About Me

Even though it was inevitable and a no-brainer baseball decision, it still sucked for me when the Pads let Edgar go. Sure, he was pretty much impossible to dislike and the novelty of having two hometown brothers on the team can make for a feel-good story (may not apply when regarding Gileses), but the thing I hated most was that I had to get a new username on Gaslamp Ball.

I started out as The Third Giles in '07 when we had Brian and Marcus. I had just gotten out of the shower and was watching the game wearing nothing but a Padres hat. My then-wife (side note: I'm finally divorced now! How cool is that?) asked "Who do you think you are, the third Giles or something?" After M'iles left, we picked up Edgar and I just became The Third Gonzalez. That lasted for two seasons and I was dreading replacing it. I thought of all different sorts of things that "TTG" could stand for but they all sucked so I went with the one that seemed to suck the least: The Thin Gwynn. Hey, it's better than Terrance Trent Garvey, I guess.

The card shown is an '09 UD Series 2. The picture's from August- I remember because I took it at the same time as the one for the David Wells post.

Fried Chicken And A Puddle

Well, I guess it's obvious now that sometimes when I say "tomorrow", what I really mean is "a few days from now". The Tony Gwynn story I have is more of a Tony Gwynn story tucked inside a John Kruk story but oh, well. Old school Gaslamp Ballers may remember it from when I posted it back in the dark days pre-SBN2.0 when FanPosts were still called Diaries. I'll repeat it here but you should go read the comments on that post because other people's stories are better than mine.

So, apparently back in the late '80s on the rare occasion of rain at The Murph, Tony and Kruk would get a bucket of chicken and take BP, competing over not who could hit the most home runs like most players would, but over who could drop the most singles into the puddle that formed behind the 5.5 hole.

The card shown in the craptabulously blurry photo is a 1990 Starline, No. 4 of 40, that I found a few days ago amongst my little brother's old cards. Yoink!