To Shave Or Not To Shave?

Well, May is over and I have a dilemma. On my chin is exactly one month of growth. I'm not sure whether to shave it off because a May beard is good for May and May only or whether I should do the Crash Davis thing and respect the streak. It's down to just the chinpiece because I shaved the sides after getting swept by the filthy effin' Dodgers because something obviously needed to change. When that got stale and we lost consecutive games to the Mariners and Nationals, it was the soulpatch's time to go. There was never any 'stache to bump off for the good of the team because I make a point to keep that zone free and clear on a daily basis. Not on my face, lipwarmer... But, at any rate, what do you guys (and gals but you know what I mean) think? There's a poll on the sidebar; feel free to express any additional thoughts on the matter in the comments.
Note: Poll closes at first pitch of tonight's game.

Ten Trivia Gems

Each of the past two days, I've wanted to post a Jerry Hairy card to celebrate both his unlikely game-winning home run and his unlikely game-winning walkoff home run but, alas, the only card I have of him that I haven't already posted depicts him fully clean-shaven and, as you know, that just doesn't fly around here- not until June 1st at least. So, with that not an option, I'm just going to toss up another batch of beards accompanied by a slew of completely unrelated Padres facts. I hope you enjoy.

1) Of all Major League franchises, the Padres hold the second-WORST all-time winning percentage (.463)- second only to the Tampa Bay (Devil) Rays (.432). This season, the Pads have the second-BEST winning percentage (.609) in MLB- second only to the Tampa Bay Rays (.681).

2) Even the most casual fan knows that we've never had a pitcher throw a no-hitter and that we've never had a batter hit for the cycle. However, I frequently notice people inquiring whether we're the only team to not have one or the other. The answer? Yep. However, this was not the case until my brother Paul's birthday last season when BJ Upton of the aforementioned Rays relieved his club of sharing that dubious dishonor with ours.

3) Also well known is that 2001 inductee Dave Winfield was the first player depicted wearing a Padres hat on his Hall Of Fame plaque, joined only by Mr. Padre himself six years later. The first member to have at one point played for the Friars was elected a decade and a half earlier- Willie "Stretch" McCovey in 1986, pictured appropriately wearing a Giants cap.

4) In addition to weighing considerably more than two of me, gargantuan first baseman stuck in left field Kyle Blanks was born on the same day in the same year as my younger brother John. There wasn't much celebrating happening on their fifteenth birthdays as some b-holes chose that day to jack some planes and forever alter the Manhattan skyline and American history books for the worse.

5) In their 42 seasons of play, the Padres have used 23 different Opening Day starting pitchers, led by four-timers Randy Jones, Eric Show and Jake Peavy. Oddly, six hurlers have had multiple Opening Day starts in non-consecutive years: Jones ('75-'77, '80), Show ('84, '86-'87, '89), Ed Whitson ('88, '91), Bruce Hurst ('90, '92), Andy Ashby ('96, '99) and Woody Williams ('01, '05).

6) Halfway through the 1990 season, "Trader" Jack McKeon was replaced as manager with Greg Riddoch. Both men posted identical .463 win percentages.

7) Although 1980 was Dave Winfield's final year as a Padre and he played his last Major League game in 1995, his #31 was not retired until 2001. It was last worn in 1999 by Matt Clement who switched to #21 the following season.

8) 1992 was a record book year for two soon-to-be-jettisoned sluggers. Fred McGriff became the only Padre ever to lead the league in home runs while Gary Sheffield won the batting title- the only Friar other than Tony Gwynn to do so.

9) LF/1B John Kruk ('86-'89) and RP Jon Adkins ('06) are the only two West Virginia born players in Padres history. While Kruk went on to attain a certain level of celebrity during his time in Philadelphia and his subsequent broadcasting career, Adkins will be best known by most for being part of the trade that brought us Heat Bell.

10) Shrek and Jairston are the ninth set of brothers who have both worn the Padres' uniform. Including the Hoffmans with Glenn serving as third base coach, the Hairstons are the sixth set to suit up at the same time and the fifth set- along with the Alomars, Mr. Padre and Chris, the Gileses and the Fightin' Gonzali- to be teammates. The three sets of Friar hermanos whose tenures in San Diego didn't overlap are Phil and Jerald Clark, Melvin and Wil Nieves, as well as Mike Maddux and The Professor.

The FoC 100th Post Celebratory Review and Beardstravaganza

Wow, one hundred posts. I guess this is a milestone and should be approached in a completely over-the-top fashion thusly. I can honestly say that when I started this in January of Aught-Nine, I imagined that I'd have a hundred posts knocked out much, much sooner. Oh, well; it's finally picking up steam and I have no complaints about the journey. Before I get into links and statistics, let's take a moment to pay our respects to Beard Month with eight completely generic nineties-style 'stache/goat combos: The well trimmed goatee was pretty much a career-long mainstay for all of these guys except for Benes. He spent most of his time in San Diego naked-faced, adopting the look only toward the end of his Padres tenure when it was getting trendy. When it first started appearing on his face is when we should have known he was turning evil and would soon become a member of our hated northern rivals. These next four Pads were nowhere near as decisive; they are pictured in a state of limbo, exhibiting the lazy look favored by George Michael and sdsuaztec4 (nope, I'm still not anywhere near done with this post):

Although this is the one hundredth post, more than a hundred cards are depicted. Including the fourteen in this post, 138 to be exact. This is the part where I get my Wonko on and have some fun breaking down numbers that nobody else is even remotely interested in:

• 3 guest posts
• 16 Tony Gwynn posts, 33 cards (24%)
• 10 cards of Padres pictured with other teams (Abner, Furmaniak, Gaudin, Sut, Jerry Hairy x2, Cora x2, C. Gwynn & B. Giles) (7%)
• 7 non Padres sharing a card with a Padre (Edgar Martinez, A-Rod, Brett Butler & Will Clark w/ Tony, Matt Holliday w/ Adrian & J.R. House and Juan Castro with Ben Davis) (5%)
• Two Dodgers (Butler, C. Gwynn) are pictured, albeit with all references to filthy Dodgerdom obscured.
• 19 players pictured more than once, led by Tony's 33; Klesko & Adrian have 6 & 5 respectively; Broke, Joey, Abner & Briles have 3 apiece.
• This month has far and away been the most prolific, with 29 posts to date showcasing 45 cards, including 23 Tonys in 14 posts. Tied for second are February & April of this year with 12 each.
• Two back to back posts in February are tied for the most comments with 7.
• 63 posts are tied with zero comments.
• My friend Shane a.k.a. Shizzle a.k.a. Sheezy is mentioned, inferred to or referenced on 6 occasions.
• Aside from the two Abners Steve sent with his post, there has been 1 reader contribution.
• 4 logoless oddball cards are depicted
• 1 post doesn't have a card- it's the most important post of them all.
• Gaslamp Ball is mentioned, linked or alluded to more times than can be counted.
• Heath Bell has been mentioned the most times without being profiled

Well, I think that just about puts a bow on it. I'd like to use this part to thank everybody who has read, commented on, retweeted, linked, contributed to or had anything whatsoever to do with these first hundred posts. As always, feedback, submissions, suggestions and anything else you can come up with are more than welcome. Thanks once again.

The Klesko Facial Hair Chronicles, Volume 5: Chinblock & Soul Triangle

The last three face-farms were rather man-dude; this one is pretty dude-bro in comparison. Nevertheless, I like it from an aesthetic perspective; it stands out with about being distracting, detracting and/or ridiculous- most of his other looks were at least two if not all three of those...

The next and final(?) installment of this series, depicting a naked-faced Ryan, will be here on June 1st, the high holiday Saint Shavey O'Getthatshitoffyourface's Day which is celebrated by Gaslamp Ballers around the world- I think you know how we observe it. Until then, you won't be seeing any clean-shaven mugs adorning the front page of this humble blog.

The Klesko Facial Hair Chronicles, Volumes 3&4: Circlegoats

These two are basically more conservative variations on the last one, each slightly more reined in than the previous.

The Klesko Facial Hair Chronicles, Volume 2: Chopgoat

I love how he has such a serious face in this picture because nobody looking at it could possibly do the same. It reminds me of the classic Ozzie chopstache, just with a circle goat instead of just a lip warmer. My friend Shane has rocked this look before and I ridiculed him as well, although this was clearly a case of "haters gon' hate" as anyone who has seen my meager collection of sparse face pubes can attest.

The Klesko Facial Hair Chronicles, Volume 1: Facehawk

Since it's May and May means one thing- May beards!- I thought I'd chronicle some of the looks worn by San Diego's most prolific facial hair farmer.

Here's Klesko with his most understated look. Some call it a soul strip but when I rocked it, I just called it a facehawk.

Eric Owens: Intense

I love this story (from the back): "There's intense and there's Eric Owens-intense. Back at Ferrum College, rarely visited by scouts, Eric was distraught that he couldn't play for some who were about to attend a game. Nursing injuries incurred dunking a basketball, he had both of his wrists in casts. Solution: Owens and his friends hacked the casts off with a jackknife and a butterknife. He played the rest of the year and was drafted in the fourth round. 'I took a lot of Advil,' he said."

"Mud, you're the best, man."

“Anybody on Earth that doesn’t like Mark Grant, they’ve got problems.”

Brian Johnson and Jeff Pearlman: Personal Heroes

Brian Johnson is a heck of a guy.

How do I know this? Because Jeff Pearlman says so. Pearlman's my favorite author/ writer/ blogger- not just because he's incredibly good at his craft (he is), but because his beliefs, whether they're about steroids, gay rights, politics, you name it, align with mine. Also, if someone whose entire adult life has been spent being disillusioned by athletes can form a friendship with and respect the values of one, well, that's a guy I think deserves my admiration.

The more I read about Johnson, the more I look up to him in the same way I look up to Pearlman. He too is "anti-gun, pro-gay marriage, pro-environment and anti-the war in Iraq", a man unafraid to step away from the typical mindset or silence of his peers and not content to be labeled as an ex-ballplayer. Most retired athletes, from what I've seen, are all too satisfied with sitting on their laurels and being defined by what they did, not who they are. I look up to any man who has the conviction to break away from convention and let his voice be heard no matter if- well, especially if it's not something everyone wants to hear. Thank you for being the way you are, Mr. Johnson and thank you, Mr. Pearlman for bringing him to my attention.